You can’t imagine it, the singer says. At that moment gearing up for her comeback record in nearly a decade, ecstatically in love with her current love, and at long last the mother of a toddler after dealing with conception issues for a decade, on top of the world. Then in spring she was found to have cancer in her breast.
The singer-songwriter, actual name Jess Cornish, is known for being brutally honest. The record, her latest release, was meant as an transparent story, addressing every bit of hardship she’d experienced since she last recorded music (endometrial issues, miscarriage, broken romances, emotional abuse, suicidal thoughts) with characteristic openness. The lead track, her single No Secrets, was launched in the spring. But by then there existed a huge secret. The illness. Then second single, Living My Best Life, was released in May and the artist was speaking publicly about how she was enjoying life to the fullest, while at the same time dealing with the disease. Four weeks after she disclosed her condition, and in the start of summer she had a mastectomy.
She shoots me her best “Seriously?” look. “I put out with a song called the track No Secrets. I’m doing every press talk, and they ask, ‘Any updates?’ and I answer, ‘Erm, yeah, nothing …’” Cornish has just had to call off performances because she’s yet to undergo reconstructive surgery.
We’re at a photography studio in the capital. She is dressed in a tan faux-leather coat, blue jeans with detailed white appliqués, cream boots and large glasses. Think rocker vibe meets 1970s Nana Mouskouri. “As if I’m in the seventies and I should have a partner with a mustache.” Like the film, I say, referencing the picture. “They used to call me that!” She beams. Cornish is quick, bold and blunt. She says she has always been interested in humor and is planning to attempt her standup debut soon. “I enjoy humor. When performing I often tease the audience.”
Health Struggles and Diagnosis
She was getting ready for an appearance at the awards show when she noticed an abnormality. “I immediately went to get it checked, had an ultrasound, and they told me, ‘It seems benign; you’ve got really good dense breast tissue.’ And I was, like, ‘Yet I sense it. I’ve got an achy arm and numbness in my fingers whenever I wake up.’ And they suggested, ‘How about a biopsy?’ The date was March 28, the following my birthday.” It was a Friday. The doctor told her if it was serious she’d reach out on the Monday. By then Cornish had persuaded herself it was fine. The way she describes it, it was simply too inconvenient to get cancer when she had a busy schedule.
“It was a fortnight prior from launching this thing after years away and an extended break. And she [the doctor] texted and said, ‘Can you talk at six?’ And I thought, ‘Oh, it’s a Zoom, it won’t be anything.’ So I join the call believing it’s all going to be good, and she says, ‘Please take a seat.’ That sympathetic voice? And she continues, ‘I regret to inform you but your reports have shown aggressive cancer.’” How did you respond? “I replied, ‘Well, that’s not great. That’s not fucking great timing.’ My initial thought was, ‘I can’t die because my son needs me.’”
I’ve been labeled difficult for knowing myself
She viewed the procedure scary and bizarre. “I hate being put under. They lead you. During crises you are wheeled, but now I just marched with a medical attire and my backside out. You feel like you’re in an episode of Black Mirror.” But, she adds, she’s been lucky. Without chemo or radio, just the surgery. “It’s terrible, but however Thank fuck I found it early. The surgery happened a few months back and my one side now appears as a fruit under fabric.” Another grin. “The nipple was preserved.”
The follow-up procedure is therapeutic and aesthetic. Her breasts, she remarks, are now “asymmetrical. They didn’t do an implant as small as my original. So inconsiderate! I felt, no need to bully me, I’m already having a difficult experience. Such disrespect! Amusingly I said I’d never get my boobs done because I’ve got perfectionism, and I know they’d never be flawless. Illness changed that.”
Previous Struggles
Cornish is familiar with health problems. She thinks her perspective on the cancer has been so optimistic because she’s familiar with medical emergencies. They have often coincided with peak moments, serving as a tap on the shoulder, or shock, to make her recall not to be complacent. “Honestly, I feel life goes, ‘Enjoying yourself? Take a seat.’ Ever since I was a child, it has often paired with high points for me; a major or strange event has impacted my body.”
She takes me back to her 11-year-old self, already making her debut starring in the London theater in Whistle Down the Wind (she was chosen at the age of 9). That’s when she was found to have the cardiac issue Wolff-Parkinson-White syndrome, which can cause a rapid pulse as well as lightheadedness and palpitations. “I rehearsed between visits on an drip, and going back into hospital at night.” She jumps ahead six years, and young Jessica has entered the trio the group while attending the performing arts school. “I just got my first record deal, and I had a cerebral event. Then when I was about to put out music in the year 2020 I had a car crash and my voice box shifted and I lost my voice for a long period.”
Wow, I say, wait, I am overwhelmed. At just 17? She nods|agrees
